Who is Watching?

"And all creation's straining, on tiptoe just to see, the sons of God come into their own" (Romans 8:18-25)

Have you ever stopped to give thanks in the midst of the difficult trials you are going through?

Sometimes it can take awhile before we are able to do this.  I have learned through the years, that when I am having a tough time, if I can stop and give thanks to God,  my spirit lifts in ways that I cannot understand, but are powerful.

The other day, I was out walking the trail near my house. As I walked, I was praying about issues troubling me.  I felt impressed to go back over the most horrific thing in my life, the death of my son, and give thanks for all the good that God has done in my life, and in others lives, because Stevie died.

That probably sounds strange to some of you, but it is the truth. There are so many wonderful and glorious things that have happened in the last two decades, that would not have happened if Stevie had not died.

I started to think on those things as I walked.  I never got past the first one.  Even now, remembering, I have tears of joy in my eyes.

There was someone watching me, as I went through the trial of my son's treatments for leukemia. They were watching, in the year after he died.  Something in what they saw, changed a man's destiny forever. And it wasn't my piety, it was my transparency.

Jack and I were packing up to move back to Houston, we were beat down, deep in grief, and I was personally done with the church and with God.  The phone rang, and on the other end was a co-worker. She had been watching. Even in my "dark night of the soul," something in what she saw moved her to call us as rescuers.

"Anna Marie, you and Jack have to come and pray for my Uncle Bill.  He is in my home in a coma.  He was kicked out of the nursing home because he got into a violent fight with another resident. He is the meanest man in Crockett! If he dies, I know he is going to hell. Please you have to come!"

The desperation in her voice pricked my spirit.  Even though I was in a terrible crisis of faith, I knew we had to go.

We got there, and as Jack began to minister to this old man, he began to fight and writhe. Even in his unconscious state, he was angry.  Jack stopped talking and told him, "Bill, I am not going to preach at you, I am just going to pray for you." As Jack put his hands on that old man's crusty bald head and prayed for Jesus to come to him and deliver him and set him free, Uncle Bill began to go peaceful, and tears streamed down his face.

My friend and her niece jumped back and shrieked, "He got it! He got it!" They told us they felt electricity course through their arms as they were touching him in prayer.

That night, my friend got up hour after hour to check on her uncle, because he was so quiet.  Early in the morning, she went in and his face was aglow. He had a sweet peaceful smile on his face as he slipped into eternity.

Uncle Bill is alive forever, because Stevie died.  I cannot stop giving thanks for the eternal consequences of that.  Uncle Bill is part of Stevie's inheritance.  And he is only the first.

I can only give wonder and thanks for this enormous gift. I realized through this experience, people are watching.  Even when we stumble, the Light in us is brighter than the darkness in the world.  Even in our pain, He never leaves us, even if we leave Him. He will bring us through, and in the process, we will bring many to Glory.  It is not up to us, it is up to Him.  In our weaknesses He is strong. 

Thank You, Lord, forever...