Focus!

I am really enjoying getting back into running!  Ten years ago, I hurt my knee at the end of a marathon I was running to help raise money for the Leukemia/Lymphoma Society in honor of my young son. Stevie bravely fought, but lost against leukemia, for three years.  I am just now able to run without pain in that knee. Wow, how time flies!

Running was a meditative experience for me, and truth be told, probably saved my sanity in the year after Stevie died. I would run everyday for over an hour singing "A Mighty Fortress is Our God" at the top of my lungs, over and over,  because I could not pray, I could not weep, I could not smile. The singing enabled me to focus on God and not on my grief-stricken heart. The truth I have deep in my soul from that experience is that I know that no matter what happens in this life, "God's Truth abideth still!"

Friends and family have asked my how I could still believe in a loving God when they know what we went through with Stevie. It is hard to put into words. It is in an infinite number of ways that He shows me that He is there, and that He cares, deeply!  Most are intangible. I am always lifted up by the writer of Hebrews in chapter 11:13 where He says,"These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off were assured of them, embraced them and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth."  And again in Hebrews 11:1, "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."  Somehow, when we ask, God places this incredible hope inside our hearts. You can't deny it. It is so real. And then there is the all-consuming Love!....Try as I may, I have no words. I just know He is there.

Every now and then, however, God blesses me with something tangible and usually it is in a humorous way.  Last week I was running/walking out near our country place. I was praying and whining to the Lord to please help me focus more on Him. Suddenly from behind me, zoomed a car. It was a Ford Focus!  I laughed. I was reminded of the Nike slogan, "Just do it."  He was saying I already had the ability, just focus. And do you know? I did!

So, now I am running again (Still more walking than running, but I have my eyes on the prize!) It is helping me to focus on Jesus and on His great love.  It feels like I have turned a corner and am going in the right direction.  Just think, the starting place of an earthquake is called the focus!  Look out world!

Oh to Have a Heart Like Jesus!

I was reading in Matthew, chapter 20, about the parable of the workers in the vineyard. Jesus is illustrating the heart of the kingdom of heaven. As many times as I have read this parable, my usual selfish response has been, "It's not fair." I have always been convicted that I do not have a humble servant's heart. Jesus is so merciful and works so patiently with me.

It' a difficult story. But as I began to look at it through the eyes of those who stood around waiting to be hired, I started getting a different perspective. Supposing that all the laborers are living paycheck to paycheck; the ones who were hired early on are working hard, but have the peace that comes from knowing their families will eat that night, that their needs are met for that day.  The others have progressively less peace and more fear and perhaps hopelessness. So even though they are not physically laboring, they are emotionally and mentally laboring; wondering how they will take care of themselves and their loved ones.

This gives me a different sense. It's not that I feel better because the un-hired workers are stressed all day, but that I know I would certainly prefer to be in the first group- working and resting in assurance.
That's how it is in the kingdom for me. I am so glad to be in, and be laboring for You Lord, knowing the peace and assurance that You give about the future. When I see the trouble, sorrow, fear, torment and hopelessness in those who don't know You, oh how I rejoice in those last minute conversions!  I cannot begrudge even a little bit, the reward that they will receive from You.

Thanks for understanding me, Lord! Thanks for giving me a new heart. I am ready to get to work!! 

Not retired! Re-fired!!

Today was a turning point in my life. Sitting on my friend's back porch sipping coffee with another dear friend opened my eyes (once again) to the power God placed in women and the love He wants to pour out through us to each other.  We had opened our souls to each other and shared deep things.  We were comfortable in each others presence and sensed a connection that comes from the love of the Lord and the willingness to be vulnerable.  We moved our coffee clache  into town to meet three other beautiful women at Larry's Mexican restaurant, the place to meet in Richmond, TX!!  As we met for one short hour over chalupas and tacos,  God knitted our hearts together in a powerful way. Friends of 45 years and friends of 45 minutes became friends for life!

So what was the turning point?  I realized that the ministry God had called me to years ago was found in these relationships.  As Frances and I drove home to San Antonio, we both knew we were supposed to have retreats for women, helping them though the loss that comes to us in life. The collective wisdom that is in each of these lovely ladies is needed for the next generation!  Look out world! Here we come!!

Be watching for information on our first retreat! It will be somewhere in Texas, sometime in the Spring! 

Singing to You!

I woke up this morning singing, "The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love!" It was just ringing in my heart! God is not mad..he is desperate for us! Can't you hear Jesus' heart as He wept over Jerusalem? He longs for us!  Jesus said, "If you have seen Me you have seen the Father."  He is calling us to tell everyone!  Jesus is coming, wake up, wake up!  He loves you with an eternal love. It is the forces of the evil one that want to kill steal and destroy! Don't attribute evil to God! He is love and mercy and kindness and peace and joy and gentleness and goodness and faithfulness and self-control.  Don't be deceived by voices that would bring fear into your hearts! If you being evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gift to those who love Him!! Worship the Lord! You will find Him there!

Love and Blessings to all who pass by! Anna Marie

From Here to There!

From There to here, from here to There,

God's healing power is everywhere.
He gave His law to help us know
The depths of brokenness we show.
We couldn't keep it, no not one;
So Abba sent His only Son.
He came.  He lived.  He kept the law.
He washed my feet.  My heart is raw
With love and passion for this Man,
Who came to show me who I am;
A broken vessel at His feet, but
Through His love I'm made complete.
So I can go from here to There,
Because Lord Jesus takes me where
I learn the way that I must show
The love of God to those below,
And I must go from There to here
And tell them that God's love is near!

By Anna Marie Sheffield