Monday, January 31, 2011

Day 28! Today was a Struggle

I woke up today really depressed.  I struggled with everything I did for hours.  It was hard to even pray.  It never ceases to cause me great wonder...how can I go from a glory realm in God to the pit of hell?  

I kept asking God,"Is it because I drove through East Texas?  Did it stir up sorrowful memories?"  And in some obscure way, I heard Him say,"Yes."

You see, East Texas is where we said good bye to our Stevie.  East Texas friends were with us when he was alive and vibrant, and when he died.  East Texas is a place of great joy and great loss.

But it wasn't until my precious daughter-in-love called me, just to talk, that she helped me realize it is also the anniversary of my mom's death.  She knew.  How does she know, Lord?  She is young and yet she has such wisdom.
 I felt so loved today by this beautiful young woman.  I cannot explain how the love she gave me through her understanding brought me out of the deep pit I was in, but it did.  I am ending the day in a place that is so far removed from where I began.  It was love that brought me through.  Love that came from someone that probably has no idea what she did for me.  Thank You , Lord for your saints; for the people you place in our lives.  Thank You for Your deep compassion towards us; that You do not leave us in despair when we cry out to You.

I am ready to face tomorrow and whatever the fast may bring.  Thanks for showing me that I still have grief that needs to be healed.  I trust You for healing.  Jesus. You are my all in all.  Anna Marie

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Day 27! How's It Going?

Jack and I switched to a Daniel Fast for the weekend.  We just returned from a healing conference in Nacogdoches, TX.  It was so much fun!  If you have never been to a healing conference of ours you may think fun is a strange way to describe such an event, but fun it is!  There is nothing like seeing someone receive a real touch from God.  I think many times we get ourselves into a familiar place in our spiritual lives that leaves very little room for a power encounter.  God is Real! He is Alive and He Longs to touch His people!  I love Him!  He never ceases to fill me with wonder.  Today, a woman who was born with a improperly formed hip, was healed and took off running for the first time in her life!  What extreme joy!! What was really cool, is that during the worship, God took her to a place in her imagination where she was running with Him on a beach.  Next thing you know, she is running for real!!  Hehehehehehe!!!! I get the giggles!!

If you are anywhere near Austin, TX on the Feb 11-12 weekend, come join us for another Atmosphere of Heaven/ Healing Conference!  The info is on our website: www.deepriverministries.com

Blessings, Dear ones!!  Anna Marie

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Day 24! Content?

This fast has been a different kind of journey for me.

This is the first time Jack and I have done such a corporate fast.  There are so many awesome people entering in and I have really been lifted up by the sharing going on both in person and through this amazing media of cyberspace connection!

But there has been a real struggle in me as well.  I always embark on each fast as I do every trip I take.  There is the anticipation of new discoveries, new friends to make and trials to overcome and live to tell about!  This fast has certainly contained all those elements and then some, but with a major difference.  The discoveries are not at all what I had been hoping for.

I am desperate for God.  I long to have conversations with Him that go deep into His heart and give me revelation beyond words!  Yet what I am discovering in my pursuit is that deep, quiet chasm, hidden in the darkness and a sense that this is what He is revealing to me: Noisy silence, emptiness overflowing and solitude, yet never alone.

Is this where He will leave me on this fast?  I don't know.  But I am hearing God speak to me in a new way through Paul's words to the Philippians,

 "...for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content:  I know how to be abased and I  know how to abound.  Everywhere and in all things I have learned to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil 4: 11-13 NKJV

I had always applied this passage to more temporal things.  Tonight it rings in my soul, Be still!  He is teaching me how to be abased, hungry and suffer the need for His touch.

I am Yours, Lord.  Here I am.  I am willing to just be.  I love You. Lord.  

Friday, January 21, 2011

Day 18! Hives, Discomfort or Blessing?

One of the ways I always seem to go through detox while fasting is by the eruption of hives all over my body.  Fun, huh?  Anyway, last night I woke up scratching like crazy and moaning and complaining to the Lord.  Suddenly, thoughts dropped into my mind that I know were not mine. I saw the suffering of Jesus for us.  I was mortified!  I am doing this fast to get closer to the Lord and I can't even handle the minor thing of hives.  I prayed to the Lord, to help me share in some small way through this fast in His suffering, that I would put up with the hives as an offering. Instantly, I fell asleep! I had no itching that I was aware of and when I awoke this morning at 4:00 am I was completely refreshaed! No hives! 

I can only say that the Lord was showing me His awesome mercy!  He does not want me to, suffer but only  my heart be fully turned to Him.  What an awesome God! Thank You Jesus!

Tonight I am once again itching like crazy, but somehow the discomfort has achieved a proportion of relevance in my heart. I want to wash His feet with this fast.  Jesus is taking me to personal depths I wasn't expecting. Blessings, Anna Marie

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Day 12 of our corporate fast!

Today Jack and some friends went to hear an amazing family.  The Patriarch was a Bishop, Otis Clarke, who is almost 108 yrs-old!  This was a preaching family!! What blessed me the most was that they were saying the same things we have been saying: It is time for the church to wake up! Apathy and fear of man have so watered down the Gospel! Bishop Clarke's daughter shared that recently they were in a Pentecostal Church that forbade them to speak of the Holy Spirit!  There is something seriously wrong with this picture.  It is not that the church has not done good things, but we have lost our first love!

I have been thinking of Jehoshaphat from the account in 2 Chronicles 20 during this fast.  Jehoshaphat was a good king. He had done much to restore the Children of Israel back to God, but he was surrounded by enemies that wanted to destroy all of them.  We are in no different  a place today.  We too, are surrounded by enemies on every side.  What did the king do?  He called a corporate fast to seek the Lord.  God gave them the solution and they went out to battle praising God with high praises. Before their eyes, as they praised the Lord, the enemies turned on each other and utterly destroyed themselves!  Woo hoo!!

Fasting helps us to hear the voice of God more clearly.  We come into spiritual victory when we are obedient to His voice. One of the main things we are hearing corporately is to begin to stand against the enemy through our prayers.  We have the advantage over Jehoshaphat because the very Spirit of God is in us through the Power of our Savior Jesus Christ!!  We do not have to only watch God work, we get to participate with Him!!

Let us begin to declare the victory over the enemy of our souls!  Let us tear down the strongholds and principalities over our cities, nation and the world.  Let us go forth BOLDLY proclaiming the Gospel of Jesus, for it is the power to save!! Glory to God!!!!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Thoughts on the communal fasting

I am sitting this evening with blankets piled on me with pillows on top of that, covered by my oh so warm laptop.  As a normally very hot-blooded person, this is extreme joy! I love to be cold and snuggle in the covers.  Living most of my life in the extremely hot state of Texas, fasting is almost the only way I get to enjoy this delight.  I know some of you may think I am crazy.  I have friends who think they are going to get frostbite when drops below 80 degrees.  Anyway, feeling the chill is, for me, one of the greatest physical benefits of fasting. 

Tonight brings me to the end of my first week of the forty-day fast my husband, Jack and our friend Billy (William Michael) have committed to under take.  Physically I feel great.  My brain is goofy and I am having a hard time remembering things, but hey, I was like that before!  Prior to the fast, my right knee had been swollen painfully for weeks. Tonight, I do not even notice it.  It feels 90% less swollen. I expect in the morning it will be perfect! Thank you, Jesus! 

In my soul, I am feeling a peace and calm.  I am finding that things that normally stress me are not effecting me at all.  I feel more forgiving towards others as I go about my day.  I find I am quicker to pray than complain. 

Spiritually, I am starting to hear more clearly.  I had two prophetic dreams last night.  I am still praying about the interpretation.  I am moving closer to the Lord.  I am always astounded to find He never moved! 

Join us won't you. We are hoping to get 1,000,000 people to join us in this endeavor.  The numbers are growing!  We have set up a website you can join and share your prayers and fasting experiences.  Follow the link to sign up. 

I have also set a group for those of you who are Facebook: A Call to Fast.  I don't know how to link it here, but you can search it on the Facebook search bar.  We are pushing 300 members there so far.  Help us won't you? 

Blessings and love, Anna Marie

Friday, January 7, 2011

Fast: Day 4! The Servants Knew

I have always been a fan of historical and Gothic novels.  I love reading about the life of people who lived in those old 4 story mansions, with servants on every floor. I was always struck by the fact that the families and their peers never noticed the servants.  The servants knew everything!
This morning, sipping my hot coffee, which I had to get for myself as I do not have a bell ringer over my bed, (and yes, I know I shouldn't be drinking coffee on a water fast!) I opened to the book of John, chapter 2, and began to read the account of the wedding feast in Cana.  Jesus' first recorded miracle: He turned water into wine! My kind of guy! :) What was illumined to me out the entire passage was this:

 "...(but the servants who had drawn the water knew).

Wow! No wonder He calls us to servant-hood.  That's where the good stuff happens.
The master of the feast got to taste the miracle of the wine, but the servants participated in bringing it to pass. How?  They were obedient to the voice of Jesus.  Ohhh it gives me chills! Have you ever seen a miracle? What part did you play?
When I think back to the miracles in my life, they were always birthed through someone caring enough to serve, whether through prayer or some other kind of sacrifice.

I see this fast as a form of servant-hood.   We are believing God for a massive world-wide awakening.  I see the lost of this world having the veil rent from their eyes and hearts to see their Savior.  He is standing, telling us to fill our pots with living water so that He can make new wine!  Fasting makes room for more living water!

Won't you come and join us on our "call to fast?"   A Call to Fast  
Blessings, Anna Marie

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Fast: Day 1! The End of the Day

Phew, I made it! First day of our group fast and am in bed, trying compose a post that will inspire you to join us on our 40-day journey!  Jack and William Michael and I felt the strong nudging of the Holy Spirit to consecrate a fast and recruit 1,000,000 believers to join us.  We want to see the Bride of Christ awaken! To see her clothed in the glory from on high! We are desperate for the Kingdom of God to reign!  We have all that we need from the Lord.  He sent his Holy Spirit to dwell in us and told us that we would even do greater things than He did!  The time is now!  The only thing standing between us the glory is our flesh and our lack of focus.

Fasting brings focus unlike anything I have ever experienced.  When you fast, you turn your heart to the Lord constantly, especially when you feel weak or hungry.  Somehow He fills the emptiness with His power and spiritual victories happen! Angels are armed! Hallelujah!

Check out our website that was created just for this fast.  A Call to Fast  We would love for you to sign up and enter in with your own experiences and words from the Lord.