Monday, January 31, 2011

Day 28! Today was a Struggle

I woke up today really depressed.  I struggled with everything I did for hours.  It was hard to even pray.  It never ceases to cause me great wonder...how can I go from a glory realm in God to the pit of hell?  

I kept asking God,"Is it because I drove through East Texas?  Did it stir up sorrowful memories?"  And in some obscure way, I heard Him say,"Yes."

You see, East Texas is where we said good bye to our Stevie.  East Texas friends were with us when he was alive and vibrant, and when he died.  East Texas is a place of great joy and great loss.

But it wasn't until my precious daughter-in-love called me, just to talk, that she helped me realize it is also the anniversary of my mom's death.  She knew.  How does she know, Lord?  She is young and yet she has such wisdom.
 I felt so loved today by this beautiful young woman.  I cannot explain how the love she gave me through her understanding brought me out of the deep pit I was in, but it did.  I am ending the day in a place that is so far removed from where I began.  It was love that brought me through.  Love that came from someone that probably has no idea what she did for me.  Thank You , Lord for your saints; for the people you place in our lives.  Thank You for Your deep compassion towards us; that You do not leave us in despair when we cry out to You.

I am ready to face tomorrow and whatever the fast may bring.  Thanks for showing me that I still have grief that needs to be healed.  I trust You for healing.  Jesus. You are my all in all.  Anna Marie