Saturday, February 5, 2011

Day 33! Anger Flares Up...

I really do not want to write about this.  I do not want to let the world know how incensed I am.  I hate this feeling.  There is an incredibly heavy weight on my chest that started yesterday in a conversation I had with my husband and a friend...There we were, talking about texting on cell phones. (I have texting blocked on our account.)  Jack wants to be able to get text messages. I HATE text messages!  This is irrational.  But I HATE them!  Well, I went on a rant and thoroughly annoyed my spouse and probably terrorized our sweet friend...who loves to text!  
"One more thing you need to drive distractedly," I blurted! 
I was not a nice person. 
So, being the wonderfully insightful Christian person that I am, I stopped working on this blog for several hours. Now I am back to give you the "rest of the story."  I have learned several things about fasting and the most difficult thing is not going without food, it's the nasty little pieces of dead, stinking, rotten flesh that surface.  God knows what is hidden in the depths and He wants it confessed and under the Blood of Jesus.  

Anger can be a cover-up emotion.  We get angry, sometimes, when we do not want to feel a more painful emotion like fear or grief.  Hence,  I called a trusted friend for prayer.  KK you know who you are:)  KK is someone who can say it like it is.  I am blessed to have a few good gal pals like this.  We all need them.  I hope you have one.  She helped me to see that I was equating texting with car accidents and car accidents with painful losses in my life.  I was absolutely consumed in fear for my loved ones lives!  Her prayer helped me to get up into Jesus' lap and rest!   Boom! The Lord obliterated the heaviness on my chest and I repented of fear and, consequently, the anger.  

Thus, you have been privy to yet another emotional saga in the life of Me.  Hope it was a blessing and not a trial!